The Empty Ocean
by Lieju
Summary: Peridot finds Lapis Lazuli, but something has happened to her mind and memories...


"What'cha doing?"

Peridot let out a squeak before falling down from the kitchen counter. "Nothing?"

Amethyst grinned at the sight of bag of chips and frozen pizza in a bucket. "Ah, OK, so you're not sneaking into the cookie jar?"

Peridot's eyes narrowed. "I took no cookies."

"Just our last pizza," Amethyst observed. "And ice cream."

The purple gem shrugged, leaving nervous Peridot in the kitchen. "Eh, I know how addicting this whole eating thing is. Just don't eat the whole fridge empty."

* * *

Peridot knocked on the barn door. "Hello?"

No answer.

She glanced around guiltily before opening the door and slipping inside. But the blue-skinned gem was as she had been when Peridot had left her; sitting cross-legged middle of the abandoned barn.

Blue eyes focused to the green gem, and there was a slight change in her expression, too fast for Peridot to properly analyze before it was gone and her attention returned to the spot on the floor.

"Hello..." Peridot hesitated a bit. "Lapis."

There was no sign she recognized the name. Peridot found herself sighing in relief. Part of her had been certain the blue gem hearing her name would cause her to lunge at her throat. They hadn't exactly parted in the best of terms, although she could probably shift most of the blame on Jasper.

Speaking of whom-

"So, uh."

Now the blue eyes were on her. She seemed to be listening.

 _So the Crystal gems told me you fused with Jasper and ended up in the ocean._

No, too direct.

 _So, seen any other gems lately?_

Too vague.

Peridot stumbled a bit, gesturing at the bucket. "So, I uhh brought you stuff." Maybe she should try to establish trust between them first. Whatever had happened to the gem in the fusion had had an effect on her mind, she probably didn't even know what had happened. Yeah, she probably wouldn't be able to tell them anything useful anyway.

Peridot had _known_ fusion was bad news.

She took out a comic. "Unfortunately it seems the Ice Cream malfunctioned and contaminated my manga."

She tried to squeeze some of the melted ice cream out of the comic. "I think you can still look at some of it."

She watched Lapis slowly turn the soggy pages.

"It's Sailor Moon. Do you like it?"

Peridot pointed at a figure. "That's Sailor Mercury, she's, uh-"

She settled for "She's cool."

Lapis hadn't shown any signs of her elemental powers after Peridot had found her laying on the beach. Or having any memories. Her gem didn't seem cracked, she seemed unharmed.

Maybe Peridot should at least tell Steven about her... It would probably be fine, he might be able to help...

But what if the Crystal gems thought she was going behind their backs? But she sort of had, hadn't she?

Not that there had been anything wrong with her building a gem radar as a hobby.

Even if she had maybe had some hopes of finding her Limb Enhancers...

Instead, she had found the blip on her radar had been Lapis Lazuli who had just stared at her and followed her here, never saying a word.

Lapis seemed interested in the manga.

Peridot was bold enough to say: "I like her. Sailor Mercury. Ami."

She took out a floppy pizza. It too seemed a bit weird but probably edible. She set the pizza in front of Lapis, and felt foolish.

Of course the blue gem wouldn't even know what to do with it.

But now she suddenly was interested.

Peridot let out a nervous squeak. Lapis might think she was disgusting if she'd try to 'eat' right in front of her!

And now she was staring at her!

"Hehheehe, so, this has a trick to it!"

Peridot pulled the pizza out of the box. "You remove the protective cardboard container to get access to the 'pizza' inside."

Lapis set the manga down, seemingly focused on the green gem.

Peridot swallowed, part nervousness and part making sure her mouth was ready for digestion. Salivary glands, OK, and ready to go. Taste buds? Shifted.

She stared at the pizza that kinda seemed different than when Amethyst had prepared one for her earlier. Maybe she could pretend she had brought it here for some other reason? Lapis would probably believe her if she told her it was an ancient Earth custom to throw pizzas at birds or something... She almost stopped, but somehow Lapis's attention being on her made her take a bite of the pizza.

She chewed on the thing, hoping she had neglected to shift taste buds, and swallowed. "And that's how you do the whole consumption of organic matter thing!"

Peridot liked to believe the flash of emotion on her face had been her being impressed.

* * *

"-and so!" Peridot turned a page on the clipboard. "This is why I believe the ship Reinako to be the superiour one. Think about it, Lapis! Together Sailor Venus and Sailor Mars can support each other and far more efficiently lead the Sailor scouts! If they join forces they can overthrow the useless Sailor Moon. I'm sure the other scouts would follow their leadership and recognize their superiour-"

She had realized she had stopped to stare in the blue eyes. She scrambled for her notes. "The superiour ship that is this ship that also has support from mythology, because Mars and Venus..." She forgot what it was exactly. Damn it she had rehearsed it and explaining this to Steven had gone so well.

She stopped, watching Lapis reach into the water bottle Peridot had brought. Lapis focused, and under her gaze, the water in the bottle started to move restlessly, until her powers took hold of it and it was pulled out. She stumbled a bit, and almost dropped the water, but it slowly rose out of the container and took the shape of an animal of some kind.

"A fish?"

Startled, Lapis let it fall, and the water splashed on the floor.

"Sorry!"

Lapis stared at the puddle. And nervousness shocked through Peridot. A fish. Something she must have seen when she was trapped underwater. With Jasper.

Peridot hadn't forgotten her, not exactly. Rather she had wished it's just work itself out somehow if she didn't pay attention to it.

But if Malachite was unfused, and Lapis here, then Jasper was free as well? She could be a threat.

"Are you okay?"

She reached a hand to Lapis and poked her shoulder.

Lapis's hand reached to hold hers. Peridot froze.

A blue hand took hold of the green one. Her grip was firm, but it didn't seem like a threat. Lapis held her hand, eyes burrowing in concentration. What if she'd remember?

Peridot pulled her hand away, not entirely certain of the feelings surging through her. It had felt both uncomfortable and oddly nice at the same time...

"Anyway!" she exclaimed.

Peridot looked back to her clip board. But she was curious now. And she had brought two more water bottles.

She walked to get another one, opened it and set it in front of Lapis.

The Ocean Gem gave her a look. One of those looks that made Peridot so certain she was aware of things she wasn't... And again she was reminded of how this was a Lapis from a different age. Blue Diamond's gems were a mysterious sort to begin with, and kept to themselves. And even if their technology was _obviously_ inferiour to the Yellow Diamond's, they had a sort of unnerving force to them Peridot had never really understood. But seeing it in action like this was... fascinating. Peridot held her breath.

Lapis returned her attention to the water, and pushed her finger into the bottle. Peridot watched her pull it out, dragging a string of water out into the air. A water ribbon was pulled out, and she used it to draw geometric shapes into the air. So focused was Peridot, that she didn't notice what was going on behind her back, until the ball of water suspended over her head became susceptible to gravity once again and dropped on her head.

"Phawh!?"

Lapis let out a melodic giggle, the first real sounds Peridot had heard of her.

She had sneaked the contents of the other water bottle behind her back...

"That wasn't funny!"

But Peridot found herself laughing along. There was something infectious about that laughter, and looking into her eyes made Peridot feel a bit weird, like she had maybe made some mistakes in making her digestive system...

But it was oddly pleasant.

* * *

Peridot ran through the rain. She wasn't sure what would happen- When there'd be this much water... How Lapis would feel-

She stopped at the sight.

It was Lapis Lazuli, outside, dancing in the rain and storm.

Maybe the storm was _summoned_ by her...

Peridot stood there watching spellbound as the Ocean Gem danced barefoot through the clearing, thunder adding its beat to the music she seemed to embody. Rain twirled around her, as a vortex, ribbons of water twisting through the air.

Before Peridot could react she was pulled into it. Raindrops danced on her skin, almost teasing her.

This was the Ocean Gem. Peridot had never seen one before, not in real action. Even when she had seen Blue Diamond's forces at work it hadn't been quite like this. Not this beautiful and wild.

She reached to Lapis, and clumsily attempted to mimic the rhythm she seemed to hear in her head.

The taller gem took hold of her, and pulled her into a dance.

Peridot could feel the rhythm, it seemed to radiate from Lapis. She reached to her, and for a second, they were in sync-

And Peridot was no more.

She could feel herself embraced by the rain, by the emptiness, the loneliness -who was she-she was alone- she was Peridot -she was not a prisoner-

She was Aquamarine.

Aquamarine reached for the rain, and felt it even more than before. She reached for the thunder to pull the electricity down and felt it surge through her body as it struck her.

She was powerful.

She was enough.

She was alone.

She felt solitude overwhelm her and for a moment she remembered the constant struggle for control, the ocean pushing down on her-

She had been weak.

She had given up.

She had ran away, locked herself inside of her mind-

She had let everyone down.

With a flash she unfused, and Peridot was there again. She stumbled and fell into the mud. That had been _fusion!_ That had-

A hand grasped her wrist and she was pulled up.

For a second she hoped she'd be pulled into another dance, before she was brought face to face with the furious gem.

 _"Why?"_

Before she had time to respond the rain twirled around her, no longer welcoming or teasing but harsh and hostile. She was pushed away, rejected by Lapis. And Peridot ran, the rain around her pushing her away.

* * *

Peridot stared at the destroyed barn. So, she had made a mess of things. They had.

"You're back."

Lapis frowned at Peridot, before shifting her gaze to Steven, and her eyes softened. "And you brought him."

She sneered. "Did you think I'd attack you if you didn't bring him with y-"

Lapis stumbled a bit as she was hugged.

"Lapis! You're okay!"

A shock was visible on her face for a millisecond.

"Of course I am, Steven-"

"I was so worried!"

"I'm... sorry."

"I'm sorry too," Peridot interjected. "Sorry for not telling you about stuff."

Steven tried to pull her with him. "Lapis?"

"You can't expect me to come with you to the temple," she tried to explain. "I am-"

"It'll be fine," Steven insisted. "We need to invite Connie and dad too I'm sure they want to know you're safe and sound!"

For a moment Peridot was certain even Steven would fail to convince her, but Lapis shrugged wordlessly, and followed them back to the temple.

* * *

"So, uh..."

Peridot had been keeping her distance from the others. The Crystal gems had been startled at first, Pearl had even pulled her weapon out as soon as she had spotted Lapis, but Steven had quickly defused the situation and after the initial explanations and the welcome party Steven had insisted was thrown Lapis has retreated from company.

So far no one had blamed Peridot for anything, although she was wondering if Lapis was holding that over her head. For all the Crystal Gems, or Peridot supposed, _other_ Crystal gems knew, Steven had found Lapis just before bringing her in.

The blue gem had eventually shrugged off Pearl's inquiries, and stepped outside.

Peridot was certain someone, maybe Garnet, was keeping an eye on her, but...

She should have a talk with Lapis. And for now it seemed like she'd have an opportunity to talk to her alone on the porch.

She felt oddly self conscious.

"What do you want?" Lapis asked without even turning to look at her.

It hadn't sounded hostile as such... But it had been easier talking to her when she hadn't had her memory.

She shrugged. "I dunno."

 _What do you want?_

Peridot stopped to really ponder the question. The scary thing was, she was starting to have an idea. And she had no clue what she was doing. She would ruin everything, and Lapis would never want to talk to her again and that felt somehow worse than them all being obliterated, or The Yellow Diamond crushing her personally into tiny tiny pieces while telling all the other Peridots what a disappointment she was...

Thousand things went through her mind, things she should say, what she feared would happen, how she'd be hated forever...

In the end she said nothing, and they stood in silence in the summer night.

But in an odd way, it felt like a beginning of something.


End file.
